As always, this post has taken
me far too long to write, edit, add pictures and post. You will have to bear
with me. I’m not the “put together, get it all done, organized, stay at home
mom” that I was hoping I’d be right now.
On October 6th my son
turned a year old. We threw a party, Halloween and Pumpkin themed, of course. I
made Ezra’s birthday cake, as my mother had done for me and my brother. It
tasted delicious (spice cake with caramel and cream cheese frosting). It was
however, uglier than sin. So I’m not the best at frosting cakes… it tasted
great. The kids had a great time and enjoyed their Halloween masks and head
bands (thank you Wal*Mart) and their healthy, yet still appealing, goodie bags.
The night before Ezra’s
birthday, after he had gone to bed, we were getting some things ready for the
next day and I couldn't help but think how quickly the past year had gone. Only
twelve short months ago we brought this tiny person home from the hospital and
he was helpless. I remember having the realization that if we don’t feed him,
he doesn't eat. I realize that this concept makes total sense and I’m aware
that I probably knew this before he was born, but the first time he cried and
there was no nurse to help me figure out what was wrong, that really scared me.
How on earth could I take care of this little human? Who did I think I was? Why
did I think I could handle this?
After a few weeks, I got the
hang of it. Chris had gone back to work. I was going to be off till January,
just me and the baby. After about 6 weeks I was ready to go back to work. I am
one who thrives on social interactions and you only can expect so much from a 6
week old. I was not enjoying this maternity leave. While I was home alone
(essentially), I found ways to pass the time. I put up Christmas decorations
(before Thanksgiving). I cooked… a lot. The house was always clean (which Chris
really appreciated). I even had time to think about how I would revamp the
Family Medical Leave (the PC term for Maternity Leave) to include 2 months at
the very beginning of the baby’s life and then you had the option to take 4
weeks of leave any time during the baby’s first 2 years. You would still get
the standard 3 months off but you could split it up so you wouldn't spend three
months watching a kid eat, sleep, poop, and cry. As soon as Ezra started
smiling at me all the time, laughing and exploring things (when you actually
get some satisfaction and repayment for the sleepless nights and copious
amounts of laundry) it’s time to go back to work. That is simply NOT FAIR!! Not
to mention my husband’s company gave him two weeks off when the baby was first
born then he could take 2 more weeks anytime he wanted before Ezra turned a year
old, in order to “bond with him”. (I apologize for the incoherent thoughts, I've been emotional)
After the holidays it was time
for me to head back to work. The night before I headed back I was a wreck. I
was excited to get back to my old life; a life that I understood, a life I
could manage, where I knew how to do my job and a life where I didn't have to
ask so many questions. Boy was I wrong. Despite the fact that I was only gone 3
months it seemed everything had changed. So there I was, confused and unaware
of how to handle my new life at home and confused and left behind at work.
Needless to say, maternity leave was looking better every day. I was only back
to work about 8 weeks before I knew that my true calling was to stay home with
my baby boy. It took some major planning
and sacrificing but I've been home for almost 2 months and it is by far one of
the best decisions I've made in my life.
It’s so hard to believe
everything we've accomplished in a year’s time. Ezra went from a helpless
beautiful baby boy to an adventurous, adorable little ball of fire (that took
his first steps the day before his birthday). This year has definitely been a
defining year in the life of the Tyo Family. We can’t wait to see what the next
year has to offer.
