why planning our wedding was easier...

Hubby and I have always been the novelty couple of our friends. We were the first to get married (5 years ago), buy a house (five years ago), and have a baby (almost 3 years ago). We had moments when we wished that our friends were in the same place as we were. So we didn’t have to go through it alone. Now that some of our friends are getting married, Hubby and I are seeing that we really had the better situation.

When we got married (pre-Pinterest) the only inspiration you had were other weddings you attended or what you saw in bridal magazines. Now don’t get me wrong, I LOVE Pinterest. I’ve used a lot of the ideas I’ve found on there for Baby Boy, home organization, youth group at church, but in my personal opinion when it comes to weddings Pinterest is making things a little more difficult.

Now you can get on Pinterest and there are millions of “simple DIY” ideas that claim they will save you money.  In my opinion they might save you a few dollars but it will definitely deplete your sanity. Not to mention that despite the fact that there are millions of ideas on Pinterest everyone seems to use the same ones (mason jars, wine bottles, natural wood, wild flowers). This “minimalist” idea is fine and all but it is anything but minimal. Having to collect all those damn mason jars, natural wood pieces, and all those “have to have them” small details that in all honesty, the only thing you will remember about them is that you stayed up all night making them.

A couple’s wedding should be about the marriage and the wedding is just the first day of marriage, what they hope will be a lifelong partnership. Does it really matter that you have the right tables for your guests to sit at? Does it really matter that the flowers are just perfect? Not in my opinion. The wedding should be about starting your life over, as a unit, with your soul mate.  Why start your marriage off with a stressful day?  Why worry about all those small details (that your guests will either not notice or forget as soon as they leave)? Why not focus on the marriage, or the vows, the promise that you make to your fiancé in front of your family and friends, to love and honor them for the rest of your life together? If you want to plan for your wedding, go to premarital counseling, talk about your marriage with your fiancé. What do you want out of your marriage? What does your life together look like to the other person? Talk about your finances. When 50% of marriages end in divorce and 45% of those divorces are caused by money, I feel that would be a good thing to discuss. Everybody was brought up with different views and ways of dealing with money. It is my suggestion that one discuss it ahead of time. But I digress.

The only advice I have for people getting married now is to remember that the wedding is just the first day of the marriage. The marriage is what the wedding is all about and the “perfect” wedding doesn’t necessarily mean the perfect marriage.